Beware the Yo-Yo-ers

The FBI recently posted a warning on their website warning suburban residents of Yo-Yo gangs. Yo-Yo gangs are a new trend sweeping America's suburbs. A Yo-Yo gang is comprised of a bunch of youths who walk around at night Yo-Yo-ing and causing trouble. Apparently the Yo-Yo is used as a diversionary tactic, three or so youngsters will perform Yo-Yo tricks for the victims while the other members of the gang will commit the crime. Yo-Yo Gangsters generally target the elderly, since they tend to be amused easily. These Yo-Yo Gangsters are ruthless they have been known to steal walkers, canes, blue blocker sunglasses, suspenders, and even their weekly pill cases. Margaret Olson, a retiree who was a victim of a Yo-Yo gang had this comment "I don't feel safe anymore. First I had to worry about the Robots taking my medicine, the my good for nothing son and now street toughs with Yo-Yo's. What has the world came to in my day..." Margaret fell asleep mid-sentence so we could not conclude our interview. We also had the opportunity to speak to five time world champion Yo-Yo-er Chip Harsnworth, "... they give the sport a bad name. Yo-Yo-ing is not about the flash and the glamour is about the love. There is no love in stealing, they stole the love from the sport. [Minutes of crying] I can't believe people even watch these disgraces my Timothy can Yo-Yo better than these chumps." In the meantime the FBI has outlawed the sale and use of Yo-Yo's and are asking the public to be aware of anyone carrying a Yo-Yo.